Listen To You
One thing I’ve always struggled with, is balancing being fair to others with being true to me and my feelings.
Sometimes, people do things that I clearly do not like, and I make excuses for them and think of a ton of reasons why they probably didn’t mean it that way. I also then think of what I must have done wrong too, and just end up, forgiving them, even when they do not apologize for their actions.
Being fair is cool, but what is not good is neglecting your own boundaries, or allowing others to violate them. Now you have to recognize your own boundaries, the negotiable and the non-negotiable, and be strict with them. You’re 1000 times easier to manipulate when you always consider people who do not care about your feelings, people who are always on the receiving end of your apology, even when they are the ones who wronged you.
There’s a voice in you that tells you “I love this” when it agrees with some things, and sometimes it voices its dissatisfaction too, listen to it, and figure it out. You deserve the fairness you freely give out to others, you deserve the benefits of the doubts you dole out, you deserve the forgiveness that you easily give to others too. Yes! You always want peace, you hate confrontations, and you would rather not fight, but you’re also very unhappy when others wrong you and never acknowledge it, or apologize for their misbehavior towards you.
Notice how you feel like shit when you apologize, when you know that you’re not wrong deep down, when you do it just for peace to reign. Maybe you’re not just a bigger person, maybe you just don’t how to break free from being other people’s doormats, maybe you just want to be liked by them. People won’t necessarily like you because you let them treat you anyhow. Respect yourself, respect your own boundaries, know what you like, recognize what you don’t, then let them know, and take no sh*t from nobody.
Now this post is not saying that introspection is not good, it is beautiful and shows that you know that you’re human and indeed fallible. However, just don’t keep making excuses for others’ behaviors towards you, that you absolutely detest. Never make excuses for those.
Listen to you and respect you, and watch others follow.
Be back next week.
Thanks for reading.
Caramel 💕