How to Stop Being a Hater and Celebrate Others’ Success
You scroll through social media and see a friend’s post: they’ve just gotten the job of their dreams, bought a house, or announced an engagement. While part of you feels happy for them, another part whispers, “Why not me?” Sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone.
It’s natural to feel a mix of emotions when others achieve great things, especially if you’re not where you want to be in your own journey. But there’s a fine line between feeling a little jealous and falling into the trap of being a “hater”, someone who undermines or diminishes others’ successes. “What is even special about what they have achieved” you say.
The good news? You can break free from this mindset and turn jealousy into motivation to achieve more. Let’s explore how to do just that:
Why It’s Okay to Feel Jealous
First things first: feeling jealous doesn’t make you a bad person. Jealousy is a natural emotion that stems from comparing yourself to others. Psychologists call this social comparison theory. It’s our brain’s way of assessing how we’re doing relative to others.
However, jealousy can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, it can highlight what you value and desire. On the other, it can spiral into resentment if not addressed. The key is to acknowledge your feelings without letting them take over.
The Problem with Being a “Hater”
Being a hater doesn’t just hurt others; it holds you back too. When you focus on tearing others down or minimising their achievements, you’re expending energy that could be used to improve your own life. It’s a lose-lose situation.
Instead of feeling empowered, haters often find themselves stuck in negativity, which can damage relationships and even hinder personal growth. Imagine the difference it could make if you shifted that energy into learning from others and going after the things that you desire.
How to Stop Being a Hater
Here are actionable steps to help you break free from the hater mindset:
1. Practice Self-Awareness
Take a moment to identify the root of your feelings. Why do you feel the way that you feel?
Journaling can help you process your emotions and gain clarity.
2. Focus on Your Own Journey and Be Thankful
Remember, someone else’s success doesn’t diminish your potential. There’s enough room for everyone to thrive. Acknowledge the good things that you have going on in your life, and practise thankfulness.
3. Celebrate Others Authentically
Offer genuine congratulations when someone shares good news. A simple “I’m so happy for you” can go a long way. Remember that good things can happen, and will happen for you too.
4. Learn From Their Success
Instead of envying their achievement, ask yourself, “What can I learn from their journey?Seek advice or mentorship if it feels appropriate.
5. Surround Yourself with Positive Influences
Spend time with people who uplift and inspire you rather than those who feed into negativity. Be intentional about cultivating a community that celebrates each other’s wins.
If you’re envious of someone’s promotion, it might be time to invest in professional development or network more effectively. Try something new: when jealousy arises, write down one action you can take to move closer to your own goals. Channel that energy into growth rather than resentment.
It’s okay to feel jealous when great things happen to those around you. What matters is how you respond. By practicing self-awareness, focusing on your own journey, and celebrating others authentically, you can turn jealousy into a source of inspiration and motivation.
Remember, lifting others up doesn’t dim your own light. So the next time you catch yourself feeling envious, take a deep breath, reflect, and choose positivity.
Does this emotion feel familiar? How did you handle it?
There’s a very thin line between being jealous and becoming a “hater”. You hating on what other people have will not suddenly make what they have become yours. You might as well just be happy for them 🤷🏾♀️ It’s going to be your turn soon and people will celebrate with you too 🥂
This was such a good read! Very eye opening.
A great read. I’d also like to add that while I understand jealousy can be a natural feeling, it’s important for people to stop constantly comparing themselves to others. This is often what fuels jealousy. The success of someone else doesn’t diminish your own, your journey is different, and you don’t have the same platform or opportunities they had. Stop measuring your success by others achievements, and instead, focus on your own path. Over time, you’ll find yourself smiling more, knowing that you too can and will accomplish great things.